If You Aren't Having Sex on Your Period, You're Missing Out
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but yes, it's completely safe to have sex on your period — including during vaginal sex, anal sex, and oral sex. While many people are deterred due to embarrassment, PMS symptoms, cramping, or a fear of being "too messy," period sex can be a highly enjoyable experience.
Yet according to new research from U By Kotex, while 54 percent of women said they would be open to having period sex, 40 percent say they would be "embarrassed" or "unsure" about suggesting it to a partner. Additionally, only 50 percent of women said that they would be uncomfortable talking about period sex with their partner.
To help fight the stigma associated with period sex, let's breakdown what to keep in mind when having period sex. Ahead, you'll learn everything you need to know about period sex, including potential benefits, foreplay, and the best period sex benefits. Learning about how to have period sex is a great first step in feeling more confident talking about it with your partner, and eventually, having it yourself.
Can You Have Sex on Your Period?
You absolutely can have sex on your period. It's safe, normal, and, for a lot of people with periods, enjoyable. Deciding whether or not you want to have sex on your period is more so a preference. Some people enjoy the sensations, while period sex could make other people feel physically uncomfortable. That said, there's a reason why so many people with uteruses report feeling extra horny during their time of the month.
Period Sex Benefits
Wanting sexual pleasure on your period is completely normal. Plus, it's good for you. A couple perks worth mentioning:
- Feel-good emotions: According to Oregon Health and Science University, sex in general can boost your self-esteem, decrease depression and anxiety, reduce stress, improve your sleep, and provide pain relief. And yes, these benefits also occur during period sex, as well.
- Period symptom relief: Sex can also play a role in relieving menstrual symptoms like cramps, breast pain, and mental restlessness. In a study launched by Womanizer and Lunette, 70 percent of respondents (341 people) reported that masturbation (aka solo sex) had an impact on the intensity of period pain — with 93 percent of them reporting solo sex reduced the intensity at least somewhat.
- Lubrication: Blood acts like a natural vaginal lubricant. Lubrication is so important to avoid pain or discomfort during sex, and especially during internal sex. If you struggle with vaginal dryness, period sex can provide relief — but you should also consider talking to your doctor if you experience chronic dryness.
Period Sex Side Effects and Risks
Period sex comes with similar risks and side effects as non-period sex, including pregnancy and STIs. You may also experience some discomfort, which is why it's important to always listen to your body. Here are some of the most common period sex side effects and risks.
- Pregnancy. If you have a vulva and are having internal (vaginal) sex with someone who has a penis, you can definitely still get pregnant during period sex. You should consider birth control, an IUD, or condoms. If your protection method fails — like a condom breaking — you should consider taking an emergency contraceptive like Plan B.
- STIs. You can still pass on or contract sexually transmitted infections during menstruation. STIs can be passed through vaginal sex, anal sex, or oral sex, says the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Birth control does not prevent STIs; only barrier methods (like condoms and dental damns) and vaccinations can help protect you. The CDC recommends getting tested for STIs at least once a year, but if you have multiple sexual partners or don't always use protection, you should get tested every three to six months.
- Discomfort. Some people don't enjoy sex during their period. You may have too much cramping to relax or repetitive motions on your genitals may leave you feeling a bit chafed or uncomfortable. Listen to your body, and if period sex isn't for you, enjoy rest during your cycle. If you do have sex on your period, make sure to take out your tampon before any kind of internal sex (as in fingering or using vibrators, toys, or a penis in the vagina) to avoid pushing the tampon too far back, or potentially getting it stuck. A tampon can never get "lost," but you should remove it as quickly as possible, or visit your healthcare provider for help.
How to Have Sex on Your Period
The best way to have sex is however you and your partner feel most comfortable. That said, there are a few strategies that will make the experience even better.
For starters, have an open conversation before you start. If you're new to having sex on your period, it's always worth sitting down with your partner in a nonsexual setting to talk about preferences and boundaries. Are you into oral? Do you prefer using a condom or dental dam? How do you and your partner feel about having blood on your hands, bodies, or the sheets? Gauging your comfort levels is a great way to see where your interests overlap and where compromises might be made.
Pay special attention to foreplay. Foreplay is one of the best, and most important, parts of sex. Foreplay is the sensual, physical, and emotional acts that lead up to genital-focused sex. This can look like kissing, massage, nipple play, and extended attention to erogenous zones like the neck, head, tummy, and thighs. "The most satisfying sex is when it's been delayed and extended, and then your whole body is awake and alive," sex and relationship coach Kim Anami previously told POPSUGAR. "And you're much more likely to have full-body orgasms when you do that because you've involved your whole body and not just your genitals."
While on your period, you can incorporate foreplay ideas that make you more comfortable with menstrual blood. You can bathe with your partner and take the opportunity to clean away blood while enjoying gentle touch and deep kissing. You may fall on the other end of the spectrum and find blood play erotic. Period blood can be used in foreplay by using it for a massage on the belly, inner thighs, or anywhere else that turns you on.
Use towels to reduce the mess. Period sex is fun, but it can get messy. Consider putting a towel down under you and your partner(s) to make clean up easier. If you're worried about your menstrual flow getting in the way or are just into water play, the shower is a great option for an intimate and cleaner experience than the bed too.
Last but not least, don't forget to practice good hygiene. It's completely safe to use toys like vibrators or dildos during period sex, but you should always clean your sex toys before and after each use. Oral sex is also fine during menstruation — you can wear a menstrual cup or tampon during oral to reduce blood flow if you prefer, but it's not necessary. For internal (vaginal) sex, take out your tampon or menstrual cup to avoid discomfort (or at worst, forcing a tampon too far into the vagina).